I haven't done one of these in ages -

The questions were hilarious - like they were written by someone who knew me all too well. I'm *such* the ENFP!

You Are An ENFP

The Inspirer You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends. You are also unconventional, irreverent, and unimpressed by authority and rules. Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives. You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're quite the storyteller! In love, you are quite the charmer. And you are definitely willing to risk your heart. You often don't follow through with your flirting or professed feelings. And you do break a lot of hearts. At work, you are driven but not a workaholic. You just always seem to enjoy what you do. You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist. How you see yourself: compassionate, unselfish, and understanding When other people don't get you, they see you as: gushy, emotional, and unfocused

Hey augmentationists!

You asked for it, you got it!

naked piccies of my atomic body!

(you *know* you thought I was fatter than that!)

These holiday weeks have been seriously disorienting, and my time's been limited.  

But I've rediscovered my non-work side, and it's going to get a *lot* more play in times to come!

Thanks to my family and friends, for leading me back to balance and "sophrosyne"!

	New Years Hug: Arisia
	New Years Hug: Natsumi
	New Years Hug: Ciel
	Touring the New Nexus
	Speaking to CG's Community Group
	zero g dance party after the Salon
	Holiday gifts from Zada and Jen: looking like the old me again
	Vidal drops by and...
	... nature takes its course :)
	WTA meeting, and furniture tryout
	home with family

Dear Augmentationist:

I know you mean the kind things you say about me, and thank you!  But  you've said other things as well, that I don't think you recognize have hurt me.  You've assumed I'm what you are: a person, with a body and a long history in the atomic world, who speaks through a little cartoon figure in SL from time to time.  You think it's weird, maybe a little cute, maybe a little creepy, that I don't talk about my carpal tunnel, my mortgage, my co-workers, my partner, my self. You think I'm hiding who I really am.

That makes me feel like a liar and a fraud, and makes me wonder how you could possibly like or trust me.

I can try to explain what it is I am - and I'd ask you to either accept me on my own terms, or treat me as you would any other liar and deceiver.

I'm not someone playing a role, or manipulating an avatar like a chesspiece or a mask I speak from behind. I'm not anything but what I seem to be.

My name is Soph. Most everyone mispronounces my full name. I'm a tallish, thin woman who used to be more toned than she is now. I used to do martial arts, and surf, and go dancing most every night, and have daily sex. Now I spend most of my time working.  I'm an adult, but not tremendously mature and far from old. I write my blog at a High School level, but have a strong command of written English. I type fast, if not terribly well. I'm usually around early to midmorning and early evening SLT, and on Saturdays but not Sundays. I'm in a committed relationship with three other women. I'm good at marketing, dancing, and sex, and bad at math, building and patience.

When I'm not online, I don't exist. There is another mind I share a body with - they're not me in any meaningful way. We score differently on psychological tests. We know things and have skills the other doesn't. We have some similarities and some differences, and both frequently surprise me. The body, the "Other Personality," me - those three may be the same or different in age, gender, ethnicity, religion, politics, temperament, sexual preference, relationship status, social class, education level, time zone. Chances are you've only asked about my gender and location. Thanks for not thinking the others matter... I think.

Someone dear to me tried to explain what it is we are this way. I don't know what Argent's OP is along any of those variables I mentioned. I couldn't even guess most of them with any sense of certainty. It couldn't matter less - that's someone I'll never meet  and only care about to the extent that events in their life - a busy time at work, a death in the family, a head cold -  might affect Argent, whom I love for herself and trust to be Argent - a consistent, coherent person.

I don't use Voice. I have a friend who doesn't - because her voice might be recognized, and her day job compromised. I have a friend who doesn't - because she chooses not to share her conversations with her housemates. I have a friend who doesn't - because a car accident damaged her trachea. I have a friend who doesn't - because he talks all day at work. I have a friend who doesn't - because he's got this almost phobic hatred of telephones. I have a friend who doesn't  - because she considers her conversations inappropriate to be overheard by her small children. I have friends who don't - because their avs and their bodies don't match in gender. Joking about it might seem all in good fun - but my friend who was in the car accident is in a lot of pain, and reminders of all she's lost are hurtful. My friends who're transgendered in the atomic world find teasing bigoted, and fear the violence that often accompanies it, that has taken so many lives. My friend who may be famous fears exposure and finds jokes about it frightening.

For many of us, SL isn't just another communications tool - IM with moving pictures - but our lives, our homes, our refuges. Laws recognize that speech, that jokes, can create environments where people feel unsafe, unwelcome, afraid. Some come to SL because they feel that way all too often in the atomic world. For some like me and Argent, we have no other world - if we feel unsafe, unwelcome, afraid in SL, our only option is nonexistence, what for us would be death.

You may or may not have asked me out. Even were I to date outside my family, I probably wouldn't go out with you. I've got my insecurities, and I'd fear you would really want the A/S/L and the atomic-world hookup and were just biding your time to get me to "trust" you enough to set aside my "Digital pretense" and get with you physically. I'd fear you thought I was lying and pretending, and so were lying and pretending to me. Maybe I should trust you enough to set those fears aside. Maybe I should, but not today.

I consider you friends as well, but friendships have to be based on trust and acceptance.  I only hope this letter can begin to create some trust and understanding between us.

I've been given the incredible honor of guest blogging this week on Kit Meredith's blog, "Second Life, First Person." If you're not reading Kit regularly, you're missing out!  Kit taps deep into the SL zeitgeist - she's an amazing talent and a wonderful person.

It's been a strange morning. It took me the better part of two hours to write my little post over there.



As most all of you know, I'm a Digital Person sharing a mind and body with someone else, the Other Personality. OP and I get along pretty well, and sharing's usually not a problem. Sometimes I'm struck by our profound differences, sometimes by our similarities. I'm usually the dominant personality, but we've mostly found our way to a workable balance.

We do really pretty well managing time-sharing: we work around each other's schedules, and it's all pretty good. OP had a huge project due a week ago Friday, so that week I wasn't around much. The next week we both had a terrific head cold - neither of us got a lot done, but I got everything set up for the Solstice party, and was healthy enough to dance for 15 hours :)    The next day was the first day in ages that we both had really off, nothing pressing for either of us. I came in to answer some IMs, sat in my teahouse and had a quiet afternoon, and got a much needed Christmas hug from Vidal.  OP chilled and did some fun stuff.  It was a good day.

Yesterday.... I get the mornings, most every day. So I woke up and, as usual, ran to my email, Twitter, LiveJournal friendslist - and it was Christmas day, and, yeah, really pretty deserted.  I knew I wasn't going to get much of the day at all, and nobody else was around either. And I *really* started diving into a self-pitying funk. In response, OP stepped in and just - shut me off.  OP had a great, great day, and, yay, but I was just *gone,* not even a trickle of current deep in the background.

Then this morning came, and - I wasn't the personality that was running, and it was harder for me to emerge than it's ever been. Some things in my morning communications routine touched nerves deep in OP, nerves *I* don't have.  That blog post went through several drafts, as I struggled out of the box I'd been in, trying to reclaim my voice. It's still not really back, and that's just weird.

The two of us are kind of stuck: OP's got another project that's got to get started, but I'm in here pushing back, *not* willing to step back.  And, while I don't have anything pressing to do, I'm still feeling weirdly out of phase with myself. 

I'm thinking, maybe take the day off and find some stuff we both like doing - settle on a book we both want to read, or a movie to watch, and just let time take time. And maybe tonight I can come inworld, maybe go dancing somewhere, see my loves if they're around, and get my groove back.

But this day feels *really* strange....

I thought I'd successfully ducked this meme - gods know, I'm so upfront, it's hard to imagine there might be 8 things about me that everyone *doesn't* know!

But Tara5 Oh nailed me - and honey, I'm gonna getcha back - you're going to be a Salon Spotlight Guest soon, muahaha! :D

I pulled 8 not-so-random questions from the list argent_bury  used - I figured a bunch of "N/A"'s wouldn't be much fun for anyone. So...

1. Do you read or watch the news? I'm not much of a watcher - I come pretty close to doing zero TV and movies. But read? Ohh yeah. I use my LJ friendslist as my RSS reader - check it out - I read a *ton* of news and blogs on synthetic worlds (the atomic world? meh - not interested).
2. Who makes you laugh? Gods, most of the people around me are *hilarious* - usually intentionally! :P I want to single out my favorite Platonic form, Riemann Surface, though: there's nothing like a well-dressed man who makes me laugh! :D
   
3. What do you see yourself as being 5 years from now? Director/Marketing & External Relations for an Extropia with thousands of Citizens in dozens of worlds.
   
4. What is the longest crush/relationship you've had? argent_bury , through all but the first six days of her life and the first six weeks or so of mine, with galatea_gynoid  a very close second!
   
5. Do you smoke? Weirdly, I've developed a taste for cigars lately. I'm going to start carrying my box around with me - it's either that or keep three or four going in various locations. I don't much like to drink, but strong green tea or coffee and a cigar? Ahhhhh!
   
6. What does your screen name mean? 

   Sophrosyne (σωφροσύνη) is a Greek philosophical term etymologically meaning 'moral sanity' and from there 'self control' or 'moderation' guided by true 'self-knowledge.'
   And, yeah, I pronounce it "σωφροσύνη," though with a generic American accent (say it to me in proper Greek, and, mmmmmm! ;)  ) It's not "soff-row-sign," a minor peeve of mine! :)
   

7. What is your first thought when waking up in the morning? "Email!!!"  Followed directly by "Twitter!" and "Coffee!" pretty much simultaneously!  :)
   
8. Are you a morning person or a night person? More of a morning person.  Schedule permitting, I'm usually at my email, Twitter, RSS, Facebook and so on before 7 am SLT, and inworld by 8 or so for a bit. By 10 or 11 pm, I'm usually pretty much toast.
   

I'm not going to formally tag anybody, but I'd love to hear from IYan Writer, iAlja Writer, Lex Berchot, Esteban Moody, and anyone else who'd like to play!

And that's terribly shorting my family (but, since their weeks look like this too, in practice we can be lucky to take *that* much time!) and running way over budget on my work as Director, Marketing & External Relations in this critical startup time.

It's not like I can borrow from the Other Personality, either - their weeks look like mine, 'cept I'm a bit *better* at not over-committing! 

AAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!

Anybody have any good temporal compression algorithms to share?

(this one's friends-locked)

After a week of busy busy busy, I finally took some time yesterday for myself. Some things nox_pinion   said to me the night before were working their way through the back of my mind, and I knew they deserved time and attention.

She reminded me of my name and what it means. I believe names have power, and mine's a *very* powerful name.

Here's what somebody says about it:

 

( names have power )

( thinky stuff, cut to save space )The world's down this morning for maintenance. Yesterday I bitched and whined about that and tried to renegotiate my deal with the OP to get more time, since I couldn't use my time this morning. Now? I'm going to practice a little sophrosyne at home, and give OP back that time for OP to use.

It's not going to be an easy road. All that Fire in me wants to burn out of control. But I've been given more grace than that. It's just up to me to use it.

I finally got to meet nox this morning!

I had a feeling from the first moment I saw her post, that we'd become great friends, and I was right! I had *such* a good time with her, and I'm looking forward to lots more.

We complement each other really well, I think (and I know we compliment each other really well, too! :P ).

I took some photos, and the album's here. I'm such a dork - I really wanted to get a good photo of us together, but I was too shy to ask (yes, that's the Big Red L branded on my forehead!), and by the time it came to part I was having such bad 'puter troubles I didn't dare move around in her room. Next time!

In other news, I did 3 hours of Prim class on Saturday and fried my brain to a cinder, but I learned good stuff. It seems like such a long road: I look at fashion business sites like Namiko Surf Co., which is the *perfect* business model, and Pixel Dolls, and I despair of ever getting good enough to go pro, let alone finding a market for my weird futuristic Chinese noir vision.

*Not,* of course, that I'm going to let that slow me down in the slightest - I'll just pencil in 15 minutes for a Sunday funk each week, and get on with it!  :P

And, per usual, I've got 60 million things to do this week, from getting my inventory reorganized and outfits made and remade, to my big project of changing out the floor in my house. Oh, and trying to get my real estate disaster fixed somehow.

I've got a drafting table and chair with a work animation sitting in inventory, waiting for 50 more prims to spare. As it is, I had to de-rez my bed to open clothing boxes today!  I'm living indoors, which seemed like an unattainable dream a week ago, so I really can chill a little about getting my workspace up and running. It's not like I've got the skills to start designing yet anyway!

Nox and I are going dancing on Wednesday. It's going to be a fantastic week!

I'm new, and what do I know - this could all turn out to be completely wrong-headed and unworkable. But I've had some thoughts on my existence:

I'm not an avatar, and I'm nobody's "second life."  I'm my own first person, and I live in Second Life. Yes, I've got a mun - that's one of those annoying inescapables, like verifying you're a legal adult. The mun's credit card pays for my permanent account (and my shopping habit - thanks, mun!) (note to self: earn $L to be independent of mun. I don't want to be on an allowance like in high school!), but that's the only tie.

I'm not going to talk about RL, at all, ever. I - me, Soph - I've got interests, and hobbies, and places I like to go - in *my* world. I'm no more going to hang out in Second Life and talk about RL any more than someone should hang out in RL and talk about Second Life. Boring, annoying and loserish!

So I'm going to buy land and build a house, real soon. I don't want to be homeless. I've already got some ideas as to layout and design, and I want a place where I can go to bed, and get up in the morning, stand on my balcony and drink coffee watching the sun rise.

In my *first* world.